You love each other. Something keeps getting in the way.
For couples trying to find their way back to each other — or figure out what's true between them.
Couples come to therapy for so many reasons.
Sometimes something happened — a loss, an illness, a transition that changed the shape of your life together. Sometimes nothing dramatic happened and that's the problem: a slow drift, a distance that crept in, conversations that keep circling the same ground without landing anywhere.
What I find is that most couples aren't lacking love. They're lacking a way into the conversation they actually need to have — the one that feels too risky, or too big, or like it might change things in ways that are hard to predict.
I'll help you have that conversation. I bring genuine curiosity about who the two of you are — not just what's gone wrong — and a willingness to name what's happening in the room, including what's alive in the room, what’s tender, and what keeps getting avoided.
Common questions
-
You both have to show up, but you don’t have to want it equally. It’s common for one person to be more ready than the other, and that’s workable. What matters is that each of you is willing to be honest about where you actually are.
-
Very common, and I’d rather you say so than hide it. Reluctant partners usually have reasons: a past therapy that felt like taking sides, a worry about being blamed, or doubt that anything will change. In our first session I’ll ask what each of you wants, including the person who didn’t pick up the phone.
-
That’s a legitimate reason to come in. Couples therapy isn’t only for people who are certain they want to repair things. We can work on understanding what’s happening between you, what each of you wants, and what’s possible, whether that’s finding your way back to each other or figuring out what’s true between you.
-
You’ll talk with each other, not just to me. I pay attention to the patterns underneath the fights, like who pursues, who goes quiet, and what the argument is really about, and I’ll say what I see, honestly and with some humor. I’ll also give you practical tools to use between sessions, so the work doesn’t stay in the room.
-
Occasionally, when it helps. If we do individual sessions, I’ll explain up front how I handle what each of you shares privately.
-
Some couples prefer 50 minutes, others prefer 75, and we can see what feels right as we go. Seventy-five gives you more room to settle in and land before you leave. You can find fees on the FAQ page.
-
That’s more common than you’d think, and it’s useful information. Tell me in the consultation what didn’t work, whether it was the approach, the pace, or feeling like the therapist took a side, and we can talk about how I’d work differently.
-
Yes: married or dating, queer or straight, monogamous or open, together six months or thirty years. My practice is queer-affirming, and I speak English and Spanish.
Let’s talk
You don’t both have to be sure. Send me a note, even if it’s just one of you reaching out for now, and we’ll figure out the next step together.